Two ball clubs, unalike in dignity,
In Philadelphia, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
When Hamels' throw made civil minds unbend.
From forth the fatal theft of his home base
A pair of fate-cross'd ball clubs take their hate;
Of youthful vigor righteous overthrows
Do with haste end the Phillies' dynasty.
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd reign,
And the continuance of usurpers' rise,
Which, but through Harper's end, nought could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient eyes attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
Washington Nationals @ Philadelphia Phillies[The Twenty-second of May withal, in the Year of our Lord 2012
1905 hours at the Citizens' Mercantile, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
0005 hours succeeding morning at the Globe Theatre, Southwark, London]
[TV, radio: such things as dreams are made on!]
The Nationals of Washington
(25-17)Stephano Lombardosio LF
King Bryce the Harper RF
Count Zimmerman 3B
Adam de La Roche, a French gallant, 1B
Ian Desdemona SS
Espinosio, merchant, 2B
Sir Richard Ankle CF
Don Flores C
Count Zimmermann, of no relation to the first P
The Phillies of Philadelphia
(21-22)LF Juan Pierre:
A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.3B Placido Polanco:
There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.CF Shane Victorino:
Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!RF Hunter Pence:
Thine face is not worth sunburning.C Carlos Ruiz:
Peace, ye fat guts!1B John Mayberry:
Thou are pigeon-liver’d and lack gall.SS Freddy Galvis:
Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.2B Mike Fontenot:
You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!RHP Roy Halladay:
In action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god!
When my lineups swear they are made of truth
I do believe them, though I know they lie
FIRST ANNUAL WNFF TALK LIKE SHAKESPEARE FOR NO GOOD REASON GAMEDAY THREAD
inspired by Sir Obed of Marsh, Sir Minty of Fresh, the hooded villain Spider, and Sir Ossus of Liver
