Certificate of DeathName of Deceased: Atlanta Braves
Sex: Neuter
Race: It's over
Birthplace: Boston
Place of death: Washington DC
Date of death: The moment they freaked with the Washington Nationals
Initial injury: Beat down with bats leading to being placed on life support
Eventual cause of death:
Out of respect for all the Atlanta supporters who could not make the trip to Washington, part of the body was cremated:
And handed over to Cope who volunteered to take it back to Turner Field for a memorial:
However, we regret to inform the Atlanta faithful that in Cope's haste to catch up to a group of honeys on the subway on his way to the airport:
Yes, he dropped the urn which resulted in:
But not to worry. Today is broom giveaway at Nationals Park:
And they will be SWEPT:
And scattered to the winds:
So braves fans, don't fret. Just look to the skies and know that your braves are out there somewhere....
ATLANTA BRAVES at WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Where: Nationals Park
Gametime: 4:05 p.m. EDT
TV: MASN2, MLB Network (outside D.C. market), MLB.tv
Radio: 106.7 FM, 1500 AM, XM 183, MLB.com
Weather: Partly cloudy, 82 degrees, Wind 5 mph out to LF
NATIONALS (82-61)
CF Denard Span
3B Kevin Frandsen
RF Jayson Werth
1B Adam LaRoche
2B Asdrubal Cabrera
LF Bryce Harper
SS Danny Espinosa
C Jose Lobaton
RHP Stephen Strasburg
BRAVES (74-71)
RF Jason Heyward
SS Phil Gosselin
1B Freddie Freeman
LF Justin Upton
3B Chris Johnson
2B Tommy La Stella
C Christian Bethancourt
CF B.J. Upton
RHP Aaron Harang
UMPIRES
HP Marty Foster
1B Rob Drake
2B Joe West (cc)
3B Alan Porter
