I think it's time for one of us to file criminal charges against the Nats for Cruel and Unusual punishment, fraud, and false advertising.
Sometime back in the 1990's a group of Chicago White Sox STH actually filed a civil lawsuit against the club for breach of contract, for 'failing to put a professional product on the ball field' or words to that effect.
Naturally the suit was dismissed...full marks for being imaginative though.