No need to be depressed - you are free to manage your set-up to cater to your needs. I will freely admit to being a privacy and performance extremist - my PC, OS, router (hardware and firmware) and browser (inc DNS resolver) are all heavily modified to maximize both. But that's just my thing - I suspect you won't have encountered many other overclockers, for example. And I like to minimize the prospect of Big Tech profiting by monetizing my data. But everything has limits, so just settle upon whatever you feel comfy with. For example, if you wanted to have ultimate privacy, then you'd disable referrers in your browser - but then virtually every website would stop working. Private, yes, but also completely impracticable. Equally, you'd disable Widevine (potential Google snooping) - but then you wouldn't be able to stream very much as virtually all streaming sites are underpinned by Widevine. You'll soon find what's right for you.
In terms of hardware, CPU performance is king, so go for the best you can afford, even at the cost of losing some of the bells and whistles. Faster RAM would be a benefit if you do lots of photo processing, or are graphics hungry. Small tech note - given your requirements, don't be drawn into paying extra for a 'K' suffix CPU; you don't need it. (The K suffix indicates that the CPU is unlocked, so all settings can be modified - great if you're an overclocker, but not needed otherwise).
