Funeral Services
Of
The Atlanta BravesAll are

elcome.
The funeral
march 
ill begin near the

hite House by General Sherman's monument and parade its

ay down Pennsylvania Avenue...

To the Ulysses S. Grant Memorial....

Before making its

ay to

ashington's newest cathedral, AKA, Nationals Park.

As mourners enter the premises they

ill be personally greeted by handshake expert, the Refuse to Lose kid,
sportsfan882.
V
V
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Presiding over the last rites

ill be no less a dignitary than General

illiam Tecumseh Sherman.


The musical selection

ill be performed by none other than Belle

atling.

Scripture reading by Captain Rhett Butler.

Eulogy

ill be delivered by Foghorn Leghorn.

Benediction brought to you by Jimmy Carter.

Taps

ill be performed as the casket is laid to rest.

Taps

ill feature a special performance by ghostwriter of
The Unwritten Rules of Baseball and
What To Do When Opponents Are Owning You, none other than former brave and one time favorite son of dixie but later revealed to be nothing more than a covert yankee sympathizer, Brian "
Scalawag" McCann.

The pallbearers, Screech and the Presidents

ill be full emotion carrying this burden to its resting place.

The casket

ill be deposited at home plate. The Nationals brass has already dug the hole.

They

ill also take turns covering the grave

ith dirt.

Jayson

erth and the rest of the Nationals

ill see to it that they stomp the ground over it to ensure it is nice and flat as the location

ill be needed for upcoming home playoff games.

Braves' fans have recently insisted that opponent teams and fans must "respect the A". The Nationals fanbase has a message for you. Kiss our freaking asses because you just got.....
Stay tuned for lineups...