Scientists are growing concerned with reports of a new syndrome variant - WTN 22 ('Watching The Nationals 2022') - having been observed. Citizens are advised to be on the look-out for anyone displaying the following symptoms:
Those afflicted have a blank, zombie-like expression, brought on by watching countless hours of nothing happening on offence. They can display radical mood-swings, bursting into fits of almost uncontrollable hysterical laughter, brought on by watching countless hours of Nationals baserunning and fielding - then lurching into wild rage, shouting words like 'Corbin' and 'Strasburg', lapsing into animalistic delusions where they believe these players to be 'an albatross', whose presence foretells misfortune for the Nationals. Many find their symptions so hard to bear that they detach from the everyday now, choosing to live in the past (particularly 2019). They can be found comforting themselves by looking wistfully at videos of Scherzer, Turner, Rendon and Harper as Nationals (it is reported that they find doing likewise with Soto just too much to take...). They are uncomfortable in crowded, social situations, and confined spaces, choosing the empty expanses of Nationals Park instead.
The long-term effects of WTN22 are unclear, at this time - however, experience of earlier variants suggests that symptoms are long-lasting and transmissable. Some have succumbed to 'Long Washington', where the onset of symptoms can be traced as far back as the Senators.
If you recognize these symptoms, don't suffer in silence - with suitable care, rest and treatment a positive outcome can be yours. Alternatively, those afflicted by WTN22 are believed to have established a 'self-help' group, where they can discuss their symptoms with other like minded afflicted individuals, in a non-prejudicial environment. Just search online for 'WNFF' or 'Washington Nationals Fans Self-Help Group'. It always helps to know that you're not alone, and there are others who understand....
