Bryce Harper Jokes

[Bryce Harper Facts]

What's your best Bryce Harper joke? Like...If you were half as good as Bryce Harper, you'd be twice as good as you ever were. I'll put them on Bryce Harper Facts.com with credit to your name. It's like Chuck Norris Facts.

[Bryce Harper Facts]

Abner Doubleday is rumored to be the father of modern day baseball. Well it is known that Bryce Harper was the father of Abner Doubleday.

[PatsNats28]

no jokes till he signs

[Roger Dorn]

Bryce Harper swings aircraft carriers for his warmups

[tomterp]

This is not unlike the Strasburg thread we had.  I wonder how many of those one could simply substitute the new name, vs. how many were position-sensitive and wouldn't work.

[PatsNats28]

generic ones = not fun. u have to go with things that are personalized.

[Bryce Harper Facts]

NASA has decided to replace the new Ares Launch Vehicles with Bryce Harper's home runs.

[HalfSmokes]

Harper is so good he was drafted first - TWICE (oh wait, have to hold onto that one until next year)

[Roger Dorn]

When Bryce Harper slides into second base earthquakes shatter through to the earths core.

[Obed_Marsh]

Once Bryce Harper hit a home run that measured only 570 feet but it landed in the year 2999.

[UMDNats]

Even Stephen Strasburg calls Bryce Harper "Daddy."

[Roger Dorn]

When Bryce Harper pulls a groin, it is always somebody else's.
Coaches never asked Bryce Harper to bunt because, when Bryce Harper sacrifices, somebody dies.
Only Bryce Harper can catch Bryce Harpers fastball- which he does regularly to amuse the local kids.
Bryce Harper doesn't steal bases- he just takes what is rightfully his.
Bryce Harper doesn't take steroids- steroids take Bryce Harper.
Why doesn't baseball have a time limit? Because Bryce Harper said so
A pitcher once threw a beanball at Bryce Haper. The ball recognized Bryce was at bat, reversed flight in mid-air, and beaned the pitcher instead.

[Spinman]

Even Stephen Strasburg calls Bryce Harper "Daddy."

Whos on first? Bryce Harper... Whats on 2nd? No, Bryce Harpers on 2nd! Wheres I dunno know?  I dunno know is... Bryce Harper!

[NATS1137]

Bryce Harper is so good that on the day he was born the Lord said "Here now I give thee my second son so he may save the game of baseball from the sins of Bud Selig"

[Roger Dorn]

Albert Pujols wears Bryce Harper's pajamas to bed

[PatsNats28]

Bryce Harper does not have to knock the cover off of a baseball, they undress at the very site of him.

sight*