When dinosaurs roamed, and the Bedard trade started
JOHN MCGRATH; THE NEWS TRIBUNE Published: February 6th, 2008 01:00 AM
While Seattle Mariners fans last week were waiting for the Orioles to approve their trade for left-handed starting pitcher Erik Bedard, and Baltimore fans were waiting for an exchange package of outfielder Adam Jones, reliever George Sherrill and three minor league pitchers, scientists in London made an announcement regarding the planet’s timeline.
They said the earth’s 10,000-year cycle in the Holocene epoch had drawn to a close and it had entered into a new period: the Anthropocene epoch. I mention this for two reasons:
1. I’ve finally identified something that moves more gradually than Orioles owner Peter Angelos. An epoch. The late, great Holocene epoch, for instance, was preceded by the Ice Age, better known by “Jeopardy!” contestants as the Pleistocene epoch.
2. We’ve now got an actual geological reference for the “How-Long-Has-It-Been-Since-The-Mariners-Were-Close-To-Finalizing-The-Deal-For-Erik-Bedard” question.
Q: How long has it been?
A: An epoch.
Since it was reported the Mariners removed Jones from his winter league assignment in Venezuela so he could undergo the physical exam he finally took Monday in Baltimore, the New England Patriots have been downgraded from the greatest team in NFL history to the second-best team of 2007.
Fans of the University of Washington’s 2001 Rose Bowl champions have recalled the thrill of victory – and the agony of reading about it seven years later.
(At least the Huskies will keep their Rose Bowl trophy, which is more than can be said of the Lombardi Trophy won by the 2001 Patriots. If allegations of New England spying on the St. Louis Rams’ pregame walkthrough are corroborated, the NFL would have every right to strike the first of the Pats’ three world championships from the record book.)
Meanwhile, since the Mariners were on the cusp of acquiring Bedard, Ernie Banks has turned 77, Henry Aaron has turned 74, Nolan Ryan has turned 61, and Alice Cooper, who once sang, “Sixteen when I left home, and I don’t regret it a single day,” has turned 60. He doesn’t regret any of his days now, either. He plays golf.
Oh, and Johnny Rotten has turned 52, which is good news for him and startling news to me: I didn’t know he was still alive.
On the other hand, while I’d been certain Chris Webber was still alive, I was surprised to find out that he still had a game. He was signed by the Golden State Warriors, who evidently couldn’t come to terms with Rick Barry.
As the Mariners-Orioles blockbuster deal was heating up and then chilling and then consigned to the eternally lukewarm climes of purgatory, Washington Redskins receiver Art Monk – the NFL’s version of longtime daytime Emmy bridesmaid Susan Lucci – was selected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Dick Vitale’s voice returned to ESPN. Tiger Woods won a tournament in Dubai, and Phil Mickelson finished second in Phoenix.
Other milestones of note while waiting for the trade: Bob Knight quit, Rudy Giuliani and John Edwards dropped out, and John Rambo made a comeback.
(When Rambo finally gets tired of the jungle-combat thing – and when you’re older than Alice Cooper, fatigue can be an issue – he might want to challenge Rocky Balboa in a mixed martial arts fight.)
Bedard hasn’t yet arrived in Seattle, and the SuperSonics haven’t yet left. They finally enjoyed some success on the court – a three-game winning streak that followed a 14-game losing streak – but their immediate future was decided last week in the court, where a judge set a June 16 trial date for the lawsuit over the team’s KeyArena lease. That essentially guaranteed Sonics fans at least another year of pro basketball in Seattle.
For those who just don’t care anymore and wish the Sonics good riddance, remember: A year is merely one-ten-thousandth of an epoch.
As for the Mariners? While their most anticipated transaction of the offseason was put on hold, they signed left-handed-hitting veteran Brad Wilkerson, a presumptive platoon replacement for Jones in right field. Seattle’s acquisition of Wilkerson drew no more national attention than Boston’s trading of two nonroster pitchers for Chicago White Sox reliever David Aardsma.
In 2004, you might or might not recall, Aardsma replaced Henry Aaron as the first entry in the alphabetically assembled “Baseball Encyclopedia.” There are thousands of names in the book, and the first two showed up on the news wire last week. Aardsma joined another team; Aaron celebrated another birthday.
But the vigil continues for Bedard, Jones, Sherrill and the trio of Mariners minor leaguers. Good move? Bad move?
As best I can remember, I wasn’t crazy about the trade, but, yikes, my memory is foggy.
Every player in the deal is associated with another epoch. The one that followed the Ice Age.
John McGrath: 253-597-8742, ext. 6154
john.mcgrath@thenewstribune.com
