Author Topic: DUMB JOKE  (Read 29501 times)

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Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #50: November 28, 2007, 02:49:33 PM »
:rofl:

Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #51: November 28, 2007, 05:37:47 PM »
Good One!

I saw a license plate on a car the other day:  UCN TNGS (You seein' Things)





It was on a Mitsubishi Mirage

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #52: November 28, 2007, 07:08:16 PM »
That's clever!

Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #53: November 28, 2007, 08:12:01 PM »
That's clever!

Yeah I cracked up when I put the two together First it took me a few minutes to figure out the license plate.  Then as it pulled in front of me, I saw the model name on the back trunk Mirage.  I wish it wasn't so dark, I would have given the person driving a thumbs up! :thumbs:

Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #54: November 29, 2007, 06:14:47 AM »

 When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
 produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to
 feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
     Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit.  This

 stressed Santa even more.
     When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them
 were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out,
 heaven knows where.
     More stress.
     Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked,
 and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.  So,
 frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a
 shot of rum.
     When he went to the cupboard he discovered that the elves had
 hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.  In his frustration

 he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of
 little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
     He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw
 end of the broom.
     Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the
 door.
     He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big
 Christmas tree.
     The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it
 a lovely day?  I have a beautiful tree for you.  Where would you like
 me to stick it?"

 And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas

 tree.



Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #55: November 29, 2007, 09:11:40 AM »
Ouch! :halo: :D

Offline NatsAddict

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #56: November 30, 2007, 12:20:37 PM »
My neighbor just sent me this Baby Boomers animation.  The creator must have been inspired by spending five minutes down here in Botox Raton.

Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #57: November 30, 2007, 01:30:56 PM »
That video ROCKS!  8)

Offline nospinzone1

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #58: November 30, 2007, 02:55:14 PM »
My neighbor just sent me this Baby Boomers animation.  The creator must have been inspired by spending five minutes down here in Botox Raton.


BOTOX ROTON? is that what they call Boca Raton?

Offline NatsAddict

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #59: November 30, 2007, 03:21:44 PM »
BOTOX ROTON? is that what they call Boca Raton?

Yep.   There are teenagers here that get botox treatments (and I know of lot of my daughter friends that had breast augmentation surgery while in high school).  In the Money Saver coupon packets that come in the mail, they advertise discount botox treatments.   When it come to discounters, physicians and surgeons are not on my list. 

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #60: November 30, 2007, 04:59:27 PM »
That's just sad, IMO.

There are teenagers here that get botox treatments (and I know of lot of my daughter friends that had breast augmentation surgery while in high school). 

Offline saltydad

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #61: November 30, 2007, 05:08:09 PM »
My neighbor just sent me this Baby Boomers animation.  The creator must have been inspired by spending five minutes down here in Botox Raton.


Love it! Strange how the fellow looks a bit like me w/o the beard  :)

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #62: January 13, 2008, 05:23:07 PM »
In the same vein, see link below for a list of the worst country song titles:

http://www.downstream.sk.ca/country1.htm

TOP 25 COUNTRY SONGS

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Were Pure.
23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
21. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We're Even.
20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.
19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
18. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
17. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
14. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You.
13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.
12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).
10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You.
9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.
8. Please Bypass This Heart.
7. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.
6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.
5. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
4. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
3. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles.
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer.

And the Number 1 Country and Western song of all Time is...

1. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up With Some.



Offline tomterp

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #63: January 13, 2008, 09:09:41 PM »
That's just sad, IMO.


Sad, and stupid.  I dated a girl in high school, who was modestly endowed.  I ran into her a few years later, and she had obviously been a late bloomer, very substantial build.  I have three thoughts on the subject:

1- Whether she was small or big up front, she was still an attractive woman to me, but no more one way or the other;

2- Doing body work in high school is way premature, there may be changes yet to occur naturally, and

3- By surgically enhancing oneself, you are boosting your appeal to the very men you should be avoiding, the "breast worshipers".  If I had ever found out that somebody I'd been dating had surgically enhanced themselves, that would have been a huge warning sign to me - SHALLOW, YOU'LL BE BORED SOON".

end of rant.


Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #64: January 13, 2008, 09:41:20 PM »
What's even worse are kids getting that Bypass surgery to lose weight!  I saw a special on Diet Fads this weekend.  One girl had that surgery and she still had a weight problem.  Because DUH,  :doh: she continued to eat the same way.  Whiney little princess "Some people can diet but NOT me"!   :'(

Well sweety if you want to live longer than 15, yeah, you do!   >:(


Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #65: January 13, 2008, 10:26:34 PM »
:worship:

Sad, and stupid.  I dated a girl in high school, who was modestly endowed.  I ran into her a few years later, and she had obviously been a late bloomer, very substantial build.  I have three thoughts on the subject:

1- Whether she was small or big up front, she was still an attractive woman to me, but no more one way or the other;

2- Doing body work in high school is way premature, there may be changes yet to occur naturally, and

3- By surgically enhancing oneself, you are boosting your appeal to the very men you should be avoiding, the "breast worshipers".  If I had ever found out that somebody I'd been dating had surgically enhanced themselves, that would have been a huge warning sign to me - SHALLOW, YOU'LL BE BORED SOON".

end of rant.



Offline saltydad

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #66: January 14, 2008, 04:09:47 PM »
What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION:
They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

CONCLUSION:
They're tiny men in little fur coats.

Courtesy StrangeCosmos

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #67: January 14, 2008, 04:24:06 PM »
:lol: Along the same lines:

Top Ten Things That Men Understand About Women

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

:lol:

Offline saltydad

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #68: January 21, 2008, 06:20:10 PM »
In a small and wealthy area there lived a Catholic Priest, a Protestant Minister and a Rabbi. They lived as neighbors and had a friendly rivalry between each other. One not to be outdone by the other, they would compare the size of their congregation, their houses, their wealth -- anything.

One day the Rabbi bought a new Jaguar, so the others also bought new cars, one fancier than the next.

The Priest was so proud of his new Mercedes that he put it on a bit of a public display, scooped some up some water and actually baptized the car for all to see. The minister, not to be outdone, hired a crane and dipped his car into a pool in a full baptism ceremony.

Ever the competitive clergyman, the Rabbi took his car and cut off a small piece of the exhaust pipe.  :P



Offline saltydad

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #69: January 21, 2008, 06:20:43 PM »
:lol: Along the same lines:

Top Ten Things That Men Understand About Women

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

:lol:
:rofl: ;)

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #70: January 21, 2008, 06:26:36 PM »

Offline natsfan1a

  • Posts: 6512
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #71: January 21, 2008, 06:27:04 PM »
:rofl:

In a small and wealthy area there lived a Catholic Priest, a Protestant Minister and a Rabbi. They lived as neighbors and had a friendly rivalry between each other. One not to be outdone by the other, they would compare the size of their congregation, their houses, their wealth -- anything.

One day the Rabbi bought a new Jaguar, so the others also bought new cars, one fancier than the next.

The Priest was so proud of his new Mercedes that he put it on a bit of a public display, scooped some up some water and actually baptized the car for all to see. The minister, not to be outdone, hired a crane and dipped his car into a pool in a full baptism ceremony.

Ever the competitive clergyman, the Rabbi took his car and cut off a small piece of the exhaust pipe.  :P




Offline NatsAddict

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #72: January 21, 2008, 06:27:32 PM »
I rather liked it myself. :)


Personally, I found #7 the most applicable

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #73: January 21, 2008, 06:28:32 PM »
:lol:

Offline GburgNatsFan

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #74: January 21, 2008, 06:58:23 PM »
It's not the top ten that will get you, it's 11-999,999.

:lol: Along the same lines:

Top Ten Things That Men Understand About Women

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

:lol: