Author Topic: DUMB JOKE  (Read 29180 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline The Chief

  • Posts: 30000
    • http://www.wnff.net
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #225: May 14, 2008, 03:49:20 PM »
Don't worry, I plan to MILK this for all it's worth

Offline natsfan1a

  • Posts: 6512
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #226: May 14, 2008, 04:09:08 PM »
[groan] :lol:

Offline CALSGR8

  • Posts: 11163
  • Be Loud * Be Proud * Be Positive
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #227: May 14, 2008, 04:15:00 PM »
If the bases are loaded, we CAN'T SAY "DUCKS ON THE POND"!  :roll:

Online blue911

  • Posts: 16209
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #228: May 14, 2008, 04:38:55 PM »
If the bases are loaded, we CAN'T SAY "DUCKS ON THE POND"!  :roll:

That's utterly ridiculous.

Offline natsfan1a

  • Posts: 6512
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #229: May 14, 2008, 05:25:35 PM »
I was going to weigh in with another attempt but was afraid that I'd butcher it.

Offline CALSGR8

  • Posts: 11163
  • Be Loud * Be Proud * Be Positive
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #230: May 14, 2008, 06:15:30 PM »
I was going to weigh in with another attempt but was afraid that I'd butcher it.

I'm tempted to look in my baseball glossary for an appropriate term, but that would take research!

Its hard to be a cut-up!

Offline natsfan1a

  • Posts: 6512
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #231: May 14, 2008, 06:18:25 PM »
:lol:

Offline saltydad

  • Posts: 3643
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #232: May 14, 2008, 07:01:43 PM »
I was going to weigh in with another attempt but was afraid that I'd butcher it.

...which would leave you on the horns of a dilemma!

Offline natsfan1a

  • Posts: 6512
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #233: May 14, 2008, 07:23:49 PM »
:lol: That's no bull!

Offline CALSGR8

  • Posts: 11163
  • Be Loud * Be Proud * Be Positive
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #234: May 14, 2008, 11:06:22 PM »
Another Punny Joke:


Offline DPMOmaha

  • Posts: 17877
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #235: May 19, 2008, 11:43:08 AM »
How could you miss this!!!
I was going to weigh in with another attempt but was udderly afraid that I'd butcher it.


Offline natsfan1a

  • Posts: 6512
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #236: May 19, 2008, 01:14:46 PM »
Excellent point! :lol:

Offline CALSGR8

  • Posts: 11163
  • Be Loud * Be Proud * Be Positive
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #237: May 25, 2008, 01:14:32 AM »
If only it were this simple:


Offline CALSGR8

  • Posts: 11163
  • Be Loud * Be Proud * Be Positive
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #238: May 26, 2008, 02:33:27 AM »
Ok, after looking thru 11 pages, I didn't see this one:

If you need a laugh, then read through these Children's Science Exam Answers.


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like
grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow
towards the moon, because th ere is no water on the moon, and nature hates a
vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the Borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart
and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Cesarean Section'
A: The Cesarean Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Offline CALSGR8

  • Posts: 11163
  • Be Loud * Be Proud * Be Positive
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #239: May 27, 2008, 06:29:56 PM »
Kind of had to chuckle at this one:

Offline natsfan1a

  • Posts: 6512
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #240: May 28, 2008, 09:56:48 AM »
Funny and right on the money. :lol:

Offline MDoyle

  • Posts: 654
  • UMW 2010
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #241: May 28, 2008, 10:21:02 AM »
This is a bit random, but my geography professor hit us with it this semester, I still chuckle occasionally when I think about it.

Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam'.

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato', and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say 'Frito Lay.'

Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced whe was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw!

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just a commentator.

Online blue911

  • Posts: 16209
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #242: May 28, 2008, 10:24:50 AM »
 :bang:

Offline MDoyle

  • Posts: 654
  • UMW 2010
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #243: May 28, 2008, 10:30:39 AM »

Offline CALSGR8

  • Posts: 11163
  • Be Loud * Be Proud * Be Positive
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #244: May 28, 2008, 03:42:08 PM »
Another in the continuing saga of Brewster Rocket:

Offline saltydad

  • Posts: 3643
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #245: May 28, 2008, 04:36:48 PM »
Another Punny Joke:


If only it were this simple:


Ok, after looking thru 11 pages, I didn't see this one:

If you need a laugh, then read through these Children's Science Exam Answers.


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like
grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow
towards the moon, because th ere is no water on the moon, and nature hates a
vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the Borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart
and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Cesarean Section'
A: The Cesarean Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.


Love these! Thanx.

Offline CALSGR8

  • Posts: 11163
  • Be Loud * Be Proud * Be Positive
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #246: May 29, 2008, 11:42:56 PM »
Try this one.  Its uncanny!  My friend Jim sent it to me.

I know there must be a very logical answer to this, but so far can't figure it out. Can you?? This came to me from a guy who has two masters and one doctorate degree and was a former instructor at the Naval Academy and he couldn't figure out how it was done. So don't write me back asking how they do it.... :-))
 
Be Brave and TRY IT!!!!!   
 
1 ) Go to t he link below. After reading each window, click on the boy in the lower right corner of the picture.
 
2) In the last window type in your answer in the white box using the Keyboard (there is NO cursor).
 
3) Watch the paper in the boy's hand. You will be amazed. And no, I don't know how it's done.
 
http://digicc.com/fido/


Offline CALSGR8

  • Posts: 11163
  • Be Loud * Be Proud * Be Positive
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #247: May 30, 2008, 05:53:13 PM »
Another in the adventure of Brewster Rocket

Offline AnnieSavoy

  • Posts: 156
  • waiting for improvement...getting impatient
    • my blog
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #248: June 01, 2008, 12:16:34 AM »
Hilarious topic!

Maybe this might bring a chuckle or two:


Offline NatsAddict

  • Posts: 4095
Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #249: June 01, 2008, 09:24:10 AM »
For Tom and all the other fishermen: