Author Topic: DUMB JOKE  (Read 29791 times)

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Offline nospinzone1

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DUMB JOKE
« Topic Start: September 24, 2007, 01:46:38 AM »
 


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Hans vas a Norvegian vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut  vhen he accidently cut off all ten of his  finkers.



 He vent to da  emergency room in the clinik and vhen he got dar, da Norsky doctor looked at  Hans and said, 'Let's hafe da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do.' 

 
 
 Hans said, 'I  hafen't got da finkers.'

 
 
'Vhat do you mean, you  hafen't got da finkers?' he asked. 'Lordy! It's 2007!  Ve got  microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back  on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?'

 
 

 Hans responded:  'How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?' 

Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #1: September 24, 2007, 07:31:16 AM »
He's got a point there!  Good one! :lol:

Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #2: September 24, 2007, 12:03:23 PM »
He's got a point there!  Good one! :lol:

Actually, he doesn't have a Point if he doesn't have any fingers!  (ha ha I slay me!)

Offline Ali the Baseball Cat

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #3: September 24, 2007, 02:11:46 PM »
Ha ha  :D

My Norwegian grandmother once told me that "the Danes were the vurst people in the whole vide vorld, except for the Svedes"

Offline Frau Mau

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #4: September 25, 2007, 02:51:45 PM »
Ha ha  :D

My Norwegian grandmother once told me that "the Danes were the vurst people in the whole vide vorld, except for the Svedes"

She also told you if you didn't wear your hat on the pond the trolls would eat you....but I guess you turned out okay.  ;)

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #5: September 25, 2007, 02:53:04 PM »
ha ha!

She also told you if you didn't wear your hat on the pond the trolls would eat you....but I guess you turned out okay.  ;)

Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #6: September 25, 2007, 03:19:01 PM »
ha ha!

Yeah, but how long has it been since Ali has walked on a pond?  ;) Hmmm?   (Unless he plays baseball or softball and is one of the players on the bases.................Ducks on the POND!)
:roll:

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #7: September 25, 2007, 03:29:31 PM »
...or unless he has superpowers?

Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #8: September 25, 2007, 03:33:19 PM »
or unless he's been ice skating!

Offline Frau Mau

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #9: September 25, 2007, 03:34:15 PM »
sorry, frozen pond! i guess it was really cold.....:icon_mrgreen:

Offline Frau Mau

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #10: September 25, 2007, 03:34:41 PM »
...or unless he has superpowers?

let's not give him any ideas!!

Offline saltydad

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #11: September 25, 2007, 04:21:01 PM »
My older brother once tied a towel around his neck and jumped off the top of a flight of stairs, claiming that he was Peter Pan. Luckily, he wasn't hurt badly.

Mea culpa. Put on my Superman cape and jumped off my friend's back porch roof. Faster than a speeding bullet I landed on and fractured my arm. :-[

edit- I was 8.

Offline Frau Mau

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #12: September 25, 2007, 04:30:50 PM »
'Cape does not allow wearer to fly'  :icon_mrgreen:

Offline NatsAddict

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #13: September 25, 2007, 04:40:30 PM »
When I was about 10, I was Evel Knieval and rod my bike up an about 6-foot ramp we built in our neighbor's driveway.  I had one of those elongated banana seats, which collapsed into a V upon landing.

Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #14: September 25, 2007, 04:46:32 PM »
Combine Salty and Natsaddict and you have my brother who did both Superman and the ramp!

Offline Frau Mau

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #15: September 25, 2007, 04:52:10 PM »
When I was about 10, I was Evel Knieval and rod my bike up an about 6-foot ramp we built in our neighbor's driveway.  I had one of those elongated banana seats, which collapsed into a V upon landing.

youch!! that had to smart....

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #16: September 25, 2007, 05:16:07 PM »
There should have been a disclaimer! :)

I didn't realize we had so many superheroes on the board!

'Cape does not allow wearer to fly'  :icon_mrgreen:

Offline DPMOmaha

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #17: September 29, 2007, 01:28:05 AM »
How has this thread not turned into a running list of dumb jokes?

I'll start:
A janitor at the First Plymouth Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC was arrested for selling meth out of the basement of the church.  Upon further police questioning, they found out that he was actually a Methodist.


Offline nospinzone1

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #18: September 29, 2007, 03:21:21 AM »
you are right....lts keep them coming folks.

Offline CALSGR8

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #19: September 29, 2007, 10:14:26 AM »
How has this thread not turned into a running list of dumb jokes?

I'll start:
A janitor at the First Plymouth Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC was arrested for selling meth out of the basement of the church.  Upon further police questioning, they found out that he was actually a Methodist.



 :rofl:

Offline tomterp

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #20: October 01, 2007, 02:05:23 PM »
3 boys were discussing what they were going to bring to show and tell.  The first boy said he was going to bring his Star of David, and explain what it means in the Jewish faith.  Thus inspired, the second boy said he was going to bring his crucifix, and explain how it related to his Catholic faith.  The third boy said he was a Southern Baptist, and was going to bring a nice casserole.

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #21: October 01, 2007, 02:38:49 PM »
To continue with the non-secular theme:

One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.

Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here".

"Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires."

Offline saltydad

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #22: October 01, 2007, 04:23:48 PM »
Tom and Natsfan :rofl: :rofl:

A physician dies and goes to Heaven. There is a very, very long line waiting for St. Peter. The physician walks up to the front of the line and says to St. Peter, "I'm a doctor, so I shouldn't have to wait in line". St. Peter brusqely sends him to the back of the line. After a few minutes, another fellow arrives wearing a white coat and carrying a black  MD bag, and goes straight to the head of the line, where St. Peter waves him in. The physician, incensed, goes back up to St. Peter and complains.
"I'm a doctor but you told me that I had to go to the back of the line. Yet you let that other doctor in right away." St. Peter replies "That's not a doctor. That's G-d; he just thinks he's a doctor".

Offline natsfan1a

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #23: October 01, 2007, 05:37:08 PM »
:rofl: salty!

Offline nospinzone1

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Re: DUMB JOKE
« Reply #24: October 01, 2007, 10:36:36 PM »
HEEEEEEEEEEEEE
HAW