Dear Gio,
Please, do us Nats fans a favor. The next time you feel that pit of nausea in your stomach before a playoff game that you just KNOW is going to take over your nervous system and make you the wildest pitcher since Henry Rodriguez, you need to listen to your "flight or fight" response and run the hell away. Sight unseen, abandon your life as you know it. Take your millions and run off to Costa Rica or New Zealand or some other faraway place where you can live peacefully. None of us will begrudge you. It will be better for all parties involved.
Alternatively, you can also hold out at the start of next season and demand to be traded to the San Diego Padres. They are unlikely to make the postseason anytime soon, which should suit your play style. San Diego is a pretty nice place. It's even nicknamed "America's finest city." The people of San Diego expect very little of their players. Philip "doucheface" Rivers was a local hero there. You would love your new life there.
Sincerely,
KFYM