Houston-Nat's Handy Texas Restaurant Scene Handbook
for all your travel/tourism needs
Austin
South Congress Ave. district - like 6th Street for grown-ups, this is a great destination for shopping, eating, and nightlife. There's a must-see costume store (Lucy in Disguise) and Allen's Boots, the classic cowboy boot store.
- South Congress Cafe: great brunches, classic southwestern dinners (things like rotisserie Texas quail)
- Perla: great, great seafood place that flies in the good stuff daily. Nice white wine list (was once on Bourdain)
- Mrs. P's Electric Cock: trailer that sells chicken 'n' waffles, but more importantly, its name is "Mrs. P's Electric Cock"
- Hopdoddy: the classic Texas burger bar. Those clever bastards put the craft beer taps along the line you have to wait in to order, for maximum drunk-getting
Elsewhere in Austin:
- Whip-In: it's a convenience store that's also a beer store that's also a bar that's also an Indian snack food restaurant that's also a live music venue, because Austin
- G'Raj Mahal: the reigning south Asian food truck champion
- East Side Kings: the reigning east Asian food truck champion
- Hopfields: Belgian food, amazing tartes/quiches, and like 50+ beer taps
- Franklin's BBQ: I have never been, because of the lines, but bring a beer cooler if you go so the time spent waiting will go faster. Or go to La Barbecue, which is also pretty great
Dallas
- The Blind Butcher: an orgy of meat. Maybe you want brisket cheddar jalapeno sausage. Maybe you want pastrami egg rolls. Maybe you want slow-roasted duck on top of poutine. Maybe you want brussels sprouts studded with bacon. Maybe you want everything...
- Pecan Lodge: Dallas's other noteworthy orgy of meat, Texas Monthly's official #2 best BBQ in the world and way easier to get into than Franklin's. Order the beef rib...just do it
- Knife: Dallas's other other noteworthy orgy of meat. 200+ day dry-aged ribeye. Bacon tastings. Everything is great. There's a whole aging room for you to ogle as you walk in
- Royal China: sit at the dumpling counter and the dude stretching the noodles will shamelessly show off his various dough-spinning tricks. The sweet old ladies making the dumplings by hand do not indulge in that behavior...they just give you steamers of amazingness
- Super H Mart food court: the Korean supermarket's food court. Mmmmmmm
- El Come Taco (for Mexico City style tacos and eccentric cuts like lengua, cheek, and sometimes grasshoppers [!]); Tacos La Banqueta (for the "choriqueso", a.k.a. a quesadilla that is pure meat, cheese, and deliciousness)
- Zalat Pizza: stoner pizzas (Reuben sandwich pizza, chicken teriyaki pizza, sriracha jalapeno tabasco pizza) served stoner style (you order by text message) and with an optional "420 Special": 2 sodas and 2 candy bars for $4.20
Fort Worth
- The Woodshed: BBQ brisket is great, but LAMB brisket?!?! Only one place to find out (spoilers: it's also great)
Houston
- Fu Fu Cafe: the best Chinese restaurant in Texas. The waitstaff all hate you, the place is so full of Chinese people you can't hear yourself think, and life is beautiful
- District 7: meets the two criteria which make for a great brunch place: (a) no crowds, and (b) $1 mimosas
- The Breakfast Klub: not my scene, but this is Beyonce's favorite restaurant, FYI
- Underbelly: watch this space, I'm going in June
- Hugo's/Caracol: Chef Hugo Ortega's hugely acclaimed Mex-Mex empire
- Molina's: in case you want to pass on the Mex-Mex in favor of Houston's best green chile enchiladas and margaritas
San Antonio
- Il Sogno: fancy-ish, delicious Italian joint with homemade pastas (same goes for Giacomo's in Houston and Nonna in Dallas)
- Acenar: the best place on the Riverwalk is a Tex-Mex joint with a nightclub attitude that doesn't peddle cheaply-made crap like most of the other tourist joints
- Guajillo's: where my Mexican friends eat Mexican food
Temple
- Megg's Cafe: one of my favorite restaurants in Texas, because it's so weird that such a craphole town has such a great bakery/restaurant with California-style cooking and spicing
Out in the Country
- Hill Top Cafe: an old gas station north of Fredericksburg, converted into a Greek-ish restaurant and blues venue. Great way to spend a Saturday night in the middle of nowhere
- 814 Bistro: a random dude in Comfort, TX is making pretty ravishing gourmet food that would go for $60/meal in Dallas, but it's $25, and it's for an audience of maybe 20 regulars. Makes no sense that this place exists
- Carbonero Rotisserie: whenever I pass through Huntsville, I try to stop at this El Salvadorean place for pupusas, yucca, and plantains
- Smolik's Smokehouse: if you find yourself being held hostage in Mathis, TX, by a deranged lunatic who will kill you if you don't bring him awesome BBQ sausage, good news: you will not die
