Our first date consisted of her getting tanked, passing out and throwing up in her car.
Third time we went out she fell asleep in the nathroom and as I was dragging her lifeless body into the back seat of the car while these two particularly ghetto looking guys were looking at me all crazy. I looked them square in the eyes and said "you gotta get them white nages to go home with you somehow, you feel me?" They ignored my attempt at a fistbump and walked off. The bouncer was looking at me and asked "Did you really just say that?"
Needless to say everytime we go out I expect her to end up taking a porcelain nap. It's not her fault though, girls keep buying her shots.