Author Topic: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1  (Read 4901 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online houston-nat

  • Posts: 17322
Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Topic Start: July 12, 2012, 09:40:28 PM »
Washington Nationals @ Miami Marlins
[July 13, 2012, 7:05pm DC time]
[TV: The Late Show with David Letterman]


Aaaand we're back. We have a very special guest tonight, he's in the studio to deliver tonight's 'Top Ten' list. Everybody please welcome... Mr. Samuel L. Jackson!


Thanks, Dave. I got a list here I wanna call, "Top Ten Reasons the Miami Marlins Are Not a Real Goddamn Baseball Team." Now if you don't mind I'm gonna read it while standing on your desk.


Wait...what?


Say what again.


...what?


Say what again. I dare you. I double-dare you.


How about you just read the list.

Top Ten Reasons the Miami Marlins Are Not a Real Goddamn Baseball Team.

10. Their stadium is "the world's largest discotheque." [Bob Carpenter, July 5, 2012]

9. Fangraphs voted every member of the Miami Marlins franchise into a tie for the most "depressing and oily" player in baseball.* That's right. Every lunch break Siri reads me the latest crap from Fangraphs. Then I go put in a round at the public golf course.

8. Their logo, man



7. And the damn neon orange uniforms. Real team don't wear that crap



6. freakin' lime green, man!



5. Emilio Bonifacio has started 37 games in center field. Emilio Bonifacio!

4. They are the first team to ever issue four walks in a row, using four different pitchers. [April 24, vs Mets]

3. They're owned by this fat smarmy little muthafreaka:



2. That one week when they signed all those free agents [Heath Bell, Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle]. What was up with that crap? Now they back to their usual selves; can't even sign their first-round draft pick, Andrew Heaney, and he's a junior in college. A college pick! Damn. Hell I'd play for them long as they don't got any motherfreakin snakes in their motherfreakin clubhouse. Cept I wouldn't anyway since they're not a real goddamn baseball team.



1. C'mon. The fairy fountain.





I mean seriously. What's with the fairy fountain.


*Upon their nomination by a certain houston-nat.


Strong words from Samuel L. Jackson, everybody. Now Sam... my band's got a little song they'd like to play for ya.


K. Say... what is that? Am I hearing what I... no. No.


NO.
NO.
MIAMI MARLINS THEME SONG (We Are The Marlins!) © 2012


Not a Baseball Team
(41-44)

SS Jose Reyes
3B Hanley Ramirez
1B Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man
LF Jim Morrison
CF Justin "Well-Shaped Ass" Ruggiano
RF Lou Dobbs
2B Omar Infante, All-Star
C Joe Buck
RHP Josh Johnson
   And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
(49-34)

LF Steve Lombardozzi
CF Bryce Harper
3B Ryan Zimmerman
RF Michael Morse
1B Adam LaRoche
SS Ian Desmond
2B Danny Espinosa
C Jesus Flores
RHP Jordan Zimmermann
LINEUPS ARE COMPLETELY MADE UP AND SUBJECT TO CHANGE

Offline hammondsnats

  • Posts: 37363
  • LAC 8)
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #1: July 12, 2012, 09:47:13 PM »
you can't have marshmallow man, he's on nats AAA team ... and it's friday the 13th, no word on that?  why not have the players all be bad guys from horror movies 8)

Offline UMDNats

  • Posts: 12471
  • Prestige Worldwide: The 2015 Nats
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #2: July 12, 2012, 09:49:37 PM »
the all star break is the worst

Offline hammondsnats

  • Posts: 37363
  • LAC 8)
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #3: July 12, 2012, 10:10:54 PM »
the all star break is the worst

agreed.  i can't stand this.

Offline PANatsFan

  • Posts: 37225
  • dogs in uncensored, nudes in gameday
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #4: July 12, 2012, 10:32:24 PM »
fry the fish

Offline hammondsnats

  • Posts: 37363
  • LAC 8)

Offline Mathguy

  • Posts: 4928
  • Whoa That Was A Good One ! Poke His Brain Here !
    • Outer Banks Beach House
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #6: July 13, 2012, 07:32:43 AM »
This is the best gameday thread start I've seen

Offline Obed_Marsh

  • Posts: 7666
  • ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
    • Photos
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #7: July 13, 2012, 07:55:19 AM »
the all star break is the worst

* 10,000,000,000. I wish today was a day game.


Online Slateman

  • Posts: 28899
  • FREE TURNER
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #8: July 13, 2012, 08:13:07 AM »
:clap: for OP

Well done sir!!

Online OldChelsea

  • Posts: 6275
  • From the best seat in the house at Nationals Park
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #9: July 13, 2012, 08:17:17 AM »
No reason we shouldn't at least take 3 of 4 down there, especially with Stanton out.

The Nats just need to get Hanley Ramirez out of their heads, just like they seem finally to be doing with Dan Uggla after all these years (Uggla this season is hitting .198 against the Nats [4 for 21] with one homer, 3 RBI and 3 runs scored - why can't we do that with Ramirez?).

Online sportsfan882

  • Posts: 90547
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #10: July 13, 2012, 08:30:28 AM »
We've never won a game in this dreadful park. Let's hope that changes.

Online OldChelsea

  • Posts: 6275
  • From the best seat in the house at Nationals Park
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #11: July 13, 2012, 08:33:01 AM »
This starts a period of 14 in a row against divisional opposition...we really need to get back on track after dropping two of three at home to the horrible Schlockies, and now is the time to do it.

Online Slateman

  • Posts: 28899
  • FREE TURNER
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #12: July 13, 2012, 09:56:52 AM »
Wait, MDS's object of his affection isn't playing!?

Online MarquisDeSade

  • Posts: 14113
  • You have the right to remain swolen.
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #13: July 13, 2012, 11:05:49 AM »
Wait, MDS's object of his affection isn't playing!?

Disabled list after knee surgery, out 4-6 weeks.

Online Slateman

  • Posts: 28899
  • FREE TURNER
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #14: July 13, 2012, 11:56:23 AM »
Disabled list after knee surgery, out 4-6 weeks.

I assume you cry yourself to sleep at night

Online MarquisDeSade

  • Posts: 14113
  • You have the right to remain swolen.
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #15: July 13, 2012, 11:58:12 AM »
I assume you cry yourself to sleep at night

Nah, I have a really kick ass life, got the money machine rolling, working on building a hot bod, I'll be ok.

Offline Fan037

  • Posts: 1693
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #16: July 13, 2012, 12:00:13 PM »
the all star break is the worst

I've been ready to kill myself.  I need baseball NOW!

Offline Mathguy

  • Posts: 4928
  • Whoa That Was A Good One ! Poke His Brain Here !
    • Outer Banks Beach House
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #17: July 13, 2012, 12:03:54 PM »
How did Mrs Morse hurt her knee ?

Wait, MDS's object of his affection isn't playing!?


Online houston-nat

  • Posts: 17322
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #18: July 13, 2012, 12:05:49 PM »
This is the best gameday thread start I've seen
:clap: for OP

Well done sir!!
Thanks! I spent a week writing it and started brainstorming "top ten" items in late May. I'm a bit of a GDT extremist.

Offline Tokeydog

  • Posts: 1222
  • I like beer!

Offline JCA-CrystalCity

  • Global Moderator
  • ****
  • Posts: 19782
  • Platoon - not just a movie, a baseball obsession
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #20: July 13, 2012, 02:38:15 PM »
You mean to say Loria is #2's boss?

Offline Tokeydog

  • Posts: 1222
  • I like beer!
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #21: July 13, 2012, 03:22:41 PM »
"You show that turd who's boss!"

Offline MorseTheHorse

  • Posts: 2355
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #22: July 13, 2012, 03:25:38 PM »
stupid question I'm too lazy to google, but what is our pitching order coming out of the ASB?

Offline cmdterps44

  • Posts: 15536
  • Future
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #23: July 13, 2012, 03:26:03 PM »
"Grab a hold of something, bite your lip, and give it hell!"

Offline TylerDC

  • Posts: 5962
  • The Future.
Re: Nationals @ Marlins, Game 1
« Reply #24: July 13, 2012, 03:27:42 PM »
Amazing OP. :)