This was really embarrassing, and I, non-hyperbolically, do have to say it should be one of, if not the worst offensive performance of all-time. A: we basically got no hit. We've never been no-hit, so this ranks there. B, we had one base runner all game, and that was via a walk, which was erased via a DP, by the Zimmzman, who should have a Z- grade at this point.
Now as to why I ignore the first inning, this was a dude making his ML debut. He wasn't anything special in AAA. But here's the kicker. That first inning! It made this even worse than if you erased the first inning and replaced it with a nine pitch, three K inning. Kid is making his first ML start. He's nervous as hell, and he gives up a crapton of doubles and crap without getting even one out. Then they make an embarrassing as hell error, letting the ball roll into the dugout as Harper shows his inexperience and stands there. He couldn't have a worse start to the game if he tried. And after our third AB, go watch the replay, he was nervous AND frustrated as hell, and he wasn't even able to hide it. He was visibly shaken. Then we get two quick, pathetic outs with a man on third!!! No outs, dude on third, that runner should always score before you get two outs. Mercifully, he scores on a single, and that ends up being the only reason we win the game.
Then, not like he has a half hour to sit there and calm down, Stras pitches a quick second inning giving up only a sole HR. And this kid was making his ML debut!!! I'm sorry, but the aforementioned recap really does, considering that, make this game worse than if we had been shut down lights out in the first on nine pitches. And excluding that, again we just had that one walk erased by a DP.
I don't want to sound like SF, particularly since we freaking won and scored three runs. And I'm sure some will think its hyperbole at its finest to say this, although hopefully some agree. So I'm sorry, but this was definitively the worst offensive performance in the eight season history of the Nats. But worse than that, short of us getting tossed a perfect game by Daniel Cabrera, this is likely to remain the worst offensive performance in the seasons to come. Considering the background of the game, and that first inning, this was as bad as I ever want to see it get. I'll end with the exact same words I started this rant with: this was really embarrassing.