WASHINGTON DC - After Monday night's disaster against the Vikings, the Washington Redskins go into their next game against their rivals, the Dallas Cowboys, with uncertainty. They know that after the game with the Cowboys, one of the teams will be 0-2 for the season so far and they want to avoid that at all costs. However, it will be hard due to the fact that the Cowboys have had the Skins number in recent years and the shadow of T.O. looms over DC like an alien spacecraft from "Indepedence Day". Fans have been pondering what the Skins could do to get a definite victory.
Joe Gibbs and Dan Snyder answered that question and more at a top secret press conference on Tuesday. Under cloak and dagger secrecy they have obtained a new quarterback for the Cowboys game who will "lead them against impossible odds and come out victorious!"
Suddenly, the ceiling to the press conference room blew open and out dropped IMF Agent, Ethan Hunt on a wire. He stopped mere inches from the floor, avoiding personal injury. After a few breathless moments, Hunt righted himself to applause and Dan Snyder patting him on the back mumbling the words, "Toast, Toast, Toast..."
This comes as a huge shock to football fans everywhere. Hunt (played by Tom Cruise) is more known for his acrobatic aerial stunts, endless supply of gadgets and bullets, and a smile that rivals even Alfonso Soriano's. Can Hunt handle the pressure of being Redskins quarterback?
"The Cowboy endzone is Chimera and I am the Boligrofo!, yelled Hunt refering to the virus and cure he helped destroy in Mission Impossible II.
Gibbs then took reporters out onto the field to show what Hunt had. Incredibly, Hunt was snapped the ball and then ran 60 yards for a touchdown all by himself dodging machine gun fire, rockets, and narrowly avoiding a helicopter chasing him which later crashed in flame. Once in the endzone, Hunt spiked the ball and then proceeded to remove his pants exposing his tighty-whities and sliding back and forth across the endzone surface.
Joe Gibbs hid his eyes and laughed, "Now that is Risky Business!"
How Hunt was inserted into the roster is unknown. Visiting his player page it says his real name is Pete Cheever and he was drafted by the Skins in 03' from Florida State. Anyone who has dug deeper to confirm this information has mysteriously disappeared.
[THIS THREAD WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 5 SECONDS.....]