Yeah, PA really could've mashed his forehead against his keyboard and I would've gleaned as much information from that as I did from his post.
When I say idiot I mean that I have only ever heard of Linux and have never tried it out for myself; and Knoppix? WTF is THAT?!?
I would seriously just try wiping the laptop you have now and reinstalling windows and see if the sites work. If not, then try other stuff