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http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/02/07/great-moments-in-sexism-whos-your-baseball-boyfriend/Hammonds would have Brian Roberts, Linty would have Ian Desmond, I'd have Rick Ankiel, and, of course, ZDK would have Yu Darvish.
The sidebar on that page says that Rotoworld's #5 most searched-for player right now is John Lannan
The freak? John Lannan isn't even that hot