DUMB JOKE

[nospinzone1]

 


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Hans vas a Norvegian vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut  vhen he accidently cut off all ten of his  finkers.



 He vent to da  emergency room in the clinik and vhen he got dar, da Norsky doctor looked at  Hans and said, 'Let's hafe da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do.' 

 
 
 Hans said, 'I  hafen't got da finkers.'

 
 
'Vhat do you mean, you  hafen't got da finkers?' he asked. 'Lordy! It's 2007!  Ve got  microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back  on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?'

 
 

 Hans responded:  'How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?' 

[CALSGR8]

He's got a point there!  Good one!

[CALSGR8]

He's got a point there!  Good one!

Actually, he doesn't have a Point if he doesn't have any fingers!  (ha ha I slay me!)

[Ali the Baseball Cat]

Ha ha 

My Norwegian grandmother once told me that "the Danes were the vurst people in the whole vide vorld, except for the Svedes"

[Frau Mau]

Ha ha 

My Norwegian grandmother once told me that "the Danes were the vurst people in the whole vide vorld, except for the Svedes"

She also told you if you didn't wear your hat on the pond the trolls would eat you....but I guess you turned out okay. 

[natsfan1a]

ha ha!

She also told you if you didn't wear your hat on the pond the trolls would eat you....but I guess you turned out okay. 

[CALSGR8]

ha ha!

Yeah, but how long has it been since Ali has walked on a pond?  Hmmm?   (Unless he plays baseball or softball and is one of the players on the bases.................Ducks on the POND!)

[natsfan1a]

...or unless he has superpowers?

[CALSGR8]

or unless he's been ice skating!

[Frau Mau]

sorry, frozen pond! i guess it was really cold.....

[Frau Mau]

...or unless he has superpowers?

let's not give him any ideas!!

[saltydad]

My older brother once tied a towel around his neck and jumped off the top of a flight of stairs, claiming that he was Peter Pan. Luckily, he wasn't hurt badly.

Mea culpa. Put on my Superman cape and jumped off my friend's back porch roof. Faster than a speeding bullet I landed on and fractured my arm.

edit- I was 8.

[Frau Mau]

'Cape does not allow wearer to fly' 

[NatsAddict]

When I was about 10, I was Evel Knieval and rod my bike up an about 6-foot ramp we built in our neighbor's driveway.  I had one of those elongated banana seats, which collapsed into a V upon landing.

[CALSGR8]

Combine Salty and Natsaddict and you have my brother who did both Superman and the ramp!

[Frau Mau]

When I was about 10, I was Evel Knieval and rod my bike up an about 6-foot ramp we built in our neighbor's driveway.  I had one of those elongated banana seats, which collapsed into a V upon landing.

youch!! that had to smart....

[natsfan1a]

There should have been a disclaimer!

I didn't realize we had so many superheroes on the board!

'Cape does not allow wearer to fly' 

[DPMOmaha]

How has this thread not turned into a running list of dumb jokes?

I'll start:
A janitor at the First Plymouth Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC was arrested for selling meth out of the basement of the church.  Upon further police questioning, they found out that he was actually a Methodist.

[nospinzone1]

you are right....lts keep them coming folks.

[CALSGR8]

How has this thread not turned into a running list of dumb jokes?

I'll start:
A janitor at the First Plymouth Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC was arrested for selling meth out of the basement of the church.  Upon further police questioning, they found out that he was actually a Methodist.

 

[tomterp]

3 boys were discussing what they were going to bring to show and tell.  The first boy said he was going to bring his Star of David, and explain what it means in the Jewish faith.  Thus inspired, the second boy said he was going to bring his crucifix, and explain how it related to his Catholic faith.  The third boy said he was a Southern Baptist, and was going to bring a nice casserole.

[natsfan1a]

To continue with the non-secular theme:

One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.

Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here".

"Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires."

[saltydad]

Tom and Natsfan

A physician dies and goes to Heaven. There is a very, very long line waiting for St. Peter. The physician walks up to the front of the line and says to St. Peter, "I'm a doctor, so I shouldn't have to wait in line". St. Peter brusqely sends him to the back of the line. After a few minutes, another fellow arrives wearing a white coat and carrying a black  MD bag, and goes straight to the head of the line, where St. Peter waves him in. The physician, incensed, goes back up to St. Peter and complains.
"I'm a doctor but you told me that I had to go to the back of the line. Yet you let that other doctor in right away." St. Peter replies "That's not a doctor. That's G-d; he just thinks he's a doctor".

[natsfan1a]

salty!

[nospinzone1]

HEEEEEEEEEEEEE
HAW